Tuesday, 6 March 2018

Unhappily Achieving

Unhappily Achieving

I read an amazing article the other day by Morra Aarons-Mele (read here) and I highly recommend reading it because I have never nodded so much whilst reading something.

I suppose not all of you will read it and feel the same way I do, but I definitely felt someone was in my corner of the world for once and that is rare for me to find. My post on anxiety definitely made me feel emotional as I had a lot of readers reach out to me and tell me how happy they were that I did it because they didn't feel as alone. I like to think with every post I publish there is someone out there it reaches out to.

Morra writes about how her constant battle with who she thinks she should be and who she wants to be was leading to her demise. She grew up throughout private education just like me and the pressure of knowing you're in one of the best schools and failing not being an option definitely rang true to me. I was surrounded by pressure constantly growing up, if I failed I would have wasted my mothers money and quite frankly embarrass myself. Who goes to private school and wastes the opportunity by failing?

But I was then faced with the pressure of going to university. Everyone in my social circle was going and if you didn't go it was almost a guarantee you'd be an unsuccessful nobody. Was that true? No. Some of the most successful girls I know did not attend university and they're now thriving whilst others just about finish graduation and face first time employment woes.

Nonetheless, I felt the pressure to go and so I packed myself up and went. If you've read my anxiety post you'll know this was the beginning of the anxiety issue that tore my life apart for years. After reading Morra's article I realised that I have been too conforming to society. I have pushed and pulled myself into many jobs to just appear successful and happy. I was successful, I suppose, because the jobs I landed have been highly competitive. But happy? No.

Growing up we are told to do as we are told. Do not talk to your peers. Listen to the teachers at all times. Abide by a timetable lifestyle because it is what we are told is right. But isn't that a little old fashioned? What jobs require a timetable of work? What jobs require you not to speak in a team or challenge your senior staff? It's praised to have a voice, be creative and work outside the box yet we are taught growing up the complete opposite.

As an introvert I like to have my own flow, I know what works for me and I can manage myself just fine. I can also work underneath (or beside) someone happily too, but I have often been praised and not discouraged to challenge my managers advice. Because how can we possibly work from different perspectives if we are all silenced in doing so?

I have finally accepted my happiness is greatest when I am not conforming to what I think I should be doing. So what if I'm 23 and I don't know what career ladder to go down. Who cares if I get a really high powered, well paid and respectful job but hate it and leave? I would rather go to work 5 days a week with a smile on my face and an excitement to work then spend my weekends in bed sobbing over the fear of Monday morning.

Lets stop hiding in the bathroom crying and start living our lives as we like. Because no one else is living it but you.

For more inspirational posts like Morra Aaron-Mele, I would highly recommend Chloe, Ella and Ellie (click names to see blogs).
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