Friday, 9 June 2017

Self Love

Self Love

After my recent post I feel a follow up blog post is needed. Self Love is spoken about everywhere, whether its telling people to have self love or trying to teach people how to attain self love. Which is great, because you'd be silly not to want to love yourself, surely?

But it does come at a cost. How much self love can you show? When does self love become "self obsessed" or "vain". What is the limit to self love and why do we continually say to love ourselves yet put others down for doing so.

I was recently shocked when I came across Nelly London (@_nelly_london ) on Instagram because she is so confident and inspiring that I saw her as the ideal woman to follow / look up to. But even a woman like her, who emits self love, body confidence and strength to all women, will receive vulgar comments from other women. What gives? How can we possibly win in this situation?!

One way I've decided to cope is by vowing to myself that I would stop wishing for a body that I cannot achieve. I know this sounds like a lazy excuse to not get fit... Because "anything is achievable" but I am talking impossible. I have always been a very wide hipped girl and when puberty hit me at 12 years old I really piled on the pounds, fast. I was quick to diet and lose a lot of the weight, but I have never felt satisfied with my dress size.

I remember being able to fit into size 8 shorts but still felt down about not fitting into size 6's. Which is ridiculous now looking back, considering that now I am a size 12 on my bottom half and a size 14 other days. But I was 14-15 years old so I practically had no "figure" because my body was only focused on growing.
Yet, I still look at pictures of girls all over my Instagram feed who are size 6's and wish I could be that size... What is the real problem here? Its me. The girls on my Instagram feed are emitting confident energy and I want a piece of that. I want to be sat in a flamingo inflatable with my bikini on and posting it all over the internet. But why can't I? Its only my confidence thats in the way (and a 5 star hotel with an infinity pool in Mauritius).

I've gone from scary diets where I practically starve myself for weeks on end to joining the gym countless times, only to break down crying after 3 months wondering why I'm not a size 6 yet. But I'm not supposed to be a size 6, because that is not my frame. My frame is wide hipped and big bummed, I need to accept that.

"You have a gorgeous figure. Everyone wants a figure like yours." My mum will tell me most days, because she is my mother. But admittedly people don't want my figure. That doesn't mean my figure isn't desirable because some women wouldn't want it. Some women would love to swap their size 6 frame for mine, just like I would love to swap mine for theirs.

The truth of the matter is: You could be the ripest, juiciest peach in the whole wide world but there will always be someone who just f*cking hates peaches.

I think self love is just accepting where you are in your life. If you know deep within yourself that you've over indulged and need a stricter diet, you should love yourself enough to do so. If you feel like you've been stupid with a diet and need to eat a slab of cake, go love yourself and eat it. Or if you're like me, and you just want to stop stressing yourself with body image troubles, learn to love yourself.

My fellow blogging friend Ellie ( wrote an amazing piece on her journey with her weight and accepting herself. It's a great piece to read and feel united as women with our constant self image issues. 

I'm going to end this post here as otherwise I'll babble on forever, but I hope whoever you are, that this post would've made you love yourself a little bit more.

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