Saturday, 12 September 2015

Advice to the 20 somethings.



Whenever I think about my age I am always left confused and lost on what I should have achieved by now and what I should be achieving. I turn 21 in October and after a year of being 20 I am more lost than ever. I have left university, spent a year working in retail and I am now finally starting a new course in fashion this September. 

But was I right to change my path at 20 years old? Should I have my life planned by now? Does everyone else have a plan or is everyone else as confused as me? 

The countless questions I ask myself never seem to be answered and the only advice around is for teenagers. So I've decided to share a few things I've learnt about starting life as a 20 year old.

1. Its good to be different.

The one things that wavers in my life is self confidence. Sometimes I will pick an outfit that is slightly more daring than usual and I find myself thinking 'should I? Shouldn't I?' But yes. You should. Being an individual and standing out from the crowd can have huge benefits because if you stand out you'll always make an impression and be remembered. I wouldn't want to ever be considered 'like everyone else' because where is the fun in that? Don't be scared to be the only one in heels or the only girl with bright lippy on. 

2. Stop caring about what others think.

Being an individual and standing out can lead to more opinions than if you fitted in with a crowd. However, its important to remember that if someone isn't important to you then their opinion shouldn't be either. Half the time if you're looking good and standing out from the crowd then peoples stares might be in awe of your outfit and confidence.

3. Look after you.

I'm a student and I understand that a Mcdonalds meal is a lot cheaper and quicker than buying food from a supermarket and cooking. But I think I realised this summer how important it is to look after myself before its too late. I went months without a takeaway and one Friday night I decided to treat myself and my body took it so badly I was ill for 24 hours afterwards. I couldn't believe how bad the junk food had effected me and I think its important to eat healthy to help out our future selves.

4. You are not 'old'.

When I thought about turning 21 I got so excited as its another milestone of my life. But I soon came crashing down when the idea of my next big milestone being 30. Ageing is a topic that I am very uncomfortable with because I have such a fear of time passing me by. However, I do find that looking at myself as 'old' when I am only 20 years old is very depressing. Our 20's should be seen as a long stretch of being young and stupid... Just maybe not as embarrassing as our teens.

5. Its okay to party and its okay to not party.

I find a lot of controversy over the subject of acting too young or acting too old when it comes to 20 somethings. I have friends who go out partying every other day, I also have friends who go out twice a year. Do I love them less or more because of how much they go out? Of course not. I think people that like to go out constantly should do so if it makes them happy, but of course if going out really isn't your cup of tea then you should not feel obliged to follow. I personally would rather watch a film or go for a meal with friends but it doesn't make me boring or 'old'.

6. Single or taken?

Since when did being single or taken become a divide? I've been in a relationship for nearly 2 years now and I've never felt more judged! Apparently if you've gotten serious with someone it means you never want to see your friends, go out or be around another singleton again. But then if you're single it means you're out of control, unhappy and drunk all the time... Can't both just be happy? I have two close girl friends, one is single and one is in a relationship. I go out with both and our relationships are never strained by the fact they're single/taken. 

7. Say goodbye to anyone or anything negative.

Your 20's should be your selfish years. You've spent 20 years up until now people pleasing, caring too much and dealing with unnecessary sh*t. If a friendship has been sour for as long as you remember, say goodbye. Sometimes its okay to leave friendships in the past who hold you back or make you miserable. Life is too short. Same for things like your job. If you're a 20 something and crying about a part time job, horrible boss or unsociable shifts then just get up and go. Find something else, tell your boss how you feel or just say no.

8. You can achieve anything.

My friend said once "Im too old to do that now..." when referring to leaving her job and studying fashion. But she couldn't be further from the truth because the time is now. I hated my university course and the situation I was in. Luckily I found myself a job in fashion and left university to pursue my dream. One year later I am a fashion student and on my way to a dream job. You don't have to be 16 years old to make a life choice, 20 something is young enough to take a new road to success.

9. Find out who you are.

Its important to find out who you are, what makes you happy and what you want from life. I cant exactly say what should be done to achieve this, because every single person does this differently. For me it was actually looking at myself and making some changes.

10. Remember that no one else knows whats going on either.

Just remember that some people may look like they've got their life all sorted out, but no one in their 20s actually knows what they're doing. 

© Naomi Wise | All rights reserved.